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Tuesday May 15th 2012, 9:17 pmWound up tight and stretched beyond rational thought at the same time. Prickling and twitchy, creases in my brow, the tiny nerves and muscles underneath acting in unison to physically convey the edginess felt within. I’m so pissy today! You ever have times where you just feel edgy and agitated for no apparent explanation? I’m mean, its a perfectly normal day as any other, nothing out of sync, all as expected. But yet there is this underlying current to myself that just feels like annoyance, I’m annoyed and don’t know why. I’m sure I am being annoying. I suppose this can occur like any other random emotional state people can experience without a change of routine, such as some days are happier than others, even though there really isn’t a specific reason. So I guess it makes sense to have times of unwarranted irritability. I’m curious what causes these fluctuations. Is it something unseen in the atmosphere that causes various reactions? Is it bio- chemistry? Reactions in a change of diet? Or is just a little insanity, temporary irrationality as part of the human condition? I know I’ve seen animals behave randomly on an emotional level as well. Living with a pet you can tell these things. Sometimes they can be very happy, other times they can be “get the fuck away from me”. And it all seems somewhat random occasionally. The sad part of it all is the knowing of the negative energy toiling away in my brain, and feeling childish in that its there at all, its ridiculousness. Kinda just sets me off some more. Blah! And I’m certain no one wants to be reading this gibberish either. Go do something that will lighten your mood, I know I need to. Hopefully tomorrow I will actually have something more interesting to write…
A Damned Moody Fucker I Am
May 15th 2012
2 Comments so far
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Hello Ash
Maybe you’re right. Maybe us creative types have annoying moody tendencies. When feeling funky I usually just try to focus on positive thoughts, the good things I have in my life. Or I’ll close my eyes and remove myself a bit, try to reboot. I was doing Wii tennis for awhile but my schedule is such that I’ve been having to work almost of the time and will be for awhile, at least till fall. If not work then various other obligations eat other time.
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… I’m female. What’as your excuse?–just kidding!
Comment by Ash 05.15.12 @ 9:54 pmHaving been with the same man for the better part of a decade, I have to wonder what keeps the guy from taking my behavior personally sometimes. I suspect it’s an artist thing. We call those random bouts of insanity ‘art-hole syndrom’ or ‘amping’. He describes walking into my studio on an ‘ampy day’ like hitting a wall of flame and electricity. Maybe creative people just… do that?
Luckily, l’ve got freshly stretched canvas, martial arts buddies, and training facilities to take the extra energy out on. Endorphans help so much! Thank goodness for understanding lovers and friends!
What are your remedies for that ‘bursting at the seams’ feeling?