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Tuesday February 14th 2012, 8:31 pmTabitha’s illness is fatal. There is just no easy way to say it, but I still hate the bluntness of the way that sounds. She has what is called FIP, also known as FIPV, and there really is no coming back from it. Wendy and I are crushed, heartbroken. It sounds trite to say those words, to write them, because there is just no proper description of what we’re feeling. And it feels strange to me that I’ve made this public, about something so toughly personal. It feels slightly selfish of me, but since I’ve started these blogs I’m committed to doing this everyday, an agreement with myself that must be held. Even if what we’re currently experiencing is tragic, horrible, and all I can muster up to think about. This is all there is today. We are making her comfortable as best we can, until we can’t help anymore. But this is not how I wish for this post to be, about what is going away, but rather about some of the fun ways she lives with us. What I remember at this moment of writing…
We named her Tabitha for the day we got her, which was on Halloween, 15 years ago. We used to live out in the country and had gone for a walk that afternoon. When we arrived back at the house, there she was, this little cute kitten, curled up all by herself on our porch as if she had been waiting for us. She literally jumped in my arms, skinny but happy and cuddly, and smelling like scented dryer sheets. We could never figure out how she got to our porch, there were no other people around us. Since it was Halloween, we named her Tabitha, after the little daughter in the TV show, Bewitched. Tabby has a speckled coat of a variety of colors, like hundreds of tiny artistic paint daubs of blacks, browns, grays, tans, oranges, all set against a white undercoat, very cute and pretty. She stayed skinny, but never took the bullying from the boys (the other cats in the house), she always lets them know how tough she is.
One thing she likes to do is, for no apparent reason, suddenly burst into a thing of boundless energy, like a little rocket on four scrawny legs zooming around the house as fast she could possibly go, her tail whipping around in a frenzy. Sometimes she seems like she’s part monkey, a monkey cat. Hilarious fits of endless combustible vivacity. She also likes to sleep a lot, Sometimes under the covers, other times above my head on an extra pillow, but always tries to lick the top of my head. As matter fact, she tries to do that obsessively, and not just lick hair. She tries to lick us constantly, like you’d expect from a dog, we jokingly call her The Tongue.
She also has this insanely perfect internal clock. Sometimes hours ahead of when we feed them dinner, she’ll start harassing, especially using that darn tongue. Warning us that dinner time was coming, like we would forget or something. Everyday, making sure we got the food ready right on time. She’ll get so excited when I go to the kitchen to prepare their dinner that she’ll howl as loud as she can, over and over until I get that meal in front of her. I can never do it fast enough for certain. But her favorite food though, is actually yogurt, of any kind. She’s obsessed with it. So much that you pull the lid off a yogurt cup as quietly as possible, she’ll still hear it from the other side of the house and start harassing you with that tongue again.
Another quirky thing she does, is that if we start to vacuum the house, she heads for the hills, running from room to room, taking off from the big bad vacuum monster. Always acting like this is the day we’re finally going to suck her into it, even though we obviously never had before, it could be the time it happens for real, run! She’s a nervous ninny.
She’s also definitely a lap cat, sticks to you like velcro. Especially to Wendy. As soon as you sit she’s on you no matter what, and whines if you don’t let her. And Wendy is her mom, the place she prefers the most.
I’m sure my words don’t do her story justice. We love her, and we don’t know what this house will be like when she’s gone, we can’t think about it, hurts too much. I can’t really put into words just what we’re feeling. Heartache that comes from love, because we only have today now.
So on this special day, do something meaningful for the loves in your lives, be they furry or human, hug them, kiss them, show them what you can.
Valentine’s Day
February 14th 2012
8 Comments so far
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So I just poked around the site and found that this post was apparently fiction. My sympathies to your protagonist? 8^)
Comment by Brian Saner Lamken 02.14.12 @ 11:30 pmHello Brian
This is in no way fictional, it is very real. Actually everything in this daily blog is real. The subtitle for this section of the site has obviously been misleading, it will get changed. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
J3 – I’m so sorry. I’ve had to go through similar circumstances and “horrible” doesn’t even come close to describing it, you’re right there. I always try to think that this is the price we pay for loving them ( pets ) and that they rely on us to do the right thing and care for them as best we can. Take solace in the fact that if you’d not come home on time that day, or some other twist of fate had blown, then maybe you’d not have even met that sweet, little kitten and that you’d not had her for the last 15 years. And remind yourself and Wendy, too, that she’ll be in your hearts forever. No one can touch that.
Sending positive thoughts.
~ Pam
Hello Pam
Thank you so very much for such sweet words. Its been really rough and your empathy is very meaningful to us. We were blessed to have Tabitha in our lives for as long as she was here. And yeah, it would not have turned out good for her if we hadn’t found her when we did, so there is comfort in knowing we gave her a good home.
J and W,
We are so sorry for your loss of Tabby. We know first hand how deep the pain you’re feeling must be as we remember the loss of Abbie. No words that we could ever speak will help the pain in your hearts but know that we love you both deeply. Tabby and Abbie are playing together now.
Love,
Christina and Josh.
Hey there Christina
Thank you so much. Its been a very difficult few days. Abbie and Tabby, I love that their names rhyme. It was tough on you guys, you loved your Abbie.
We love you too.
Comment by jhw3 02.16.12 @ 1:34 pmLeave a Comment
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I’m so sorry. Cats are just the greatest companions ever. The cats I grew up with all died too young, from cancer, feline leukemia, and heart trouble — very suddenly, that last one; the most horrible blow even though it was sad the other suffered. My cats now (the first I’ve had as a “father” rather than “brother”) are 15, and while I know we may have have several years together left I also know that I have to start preparing myself inasmuch as that’s ever possible. You’re right that it’s strange to share such personal love and tragedy in such a publicly accessible place, but for what it’s worth I admire your work and I’ve never commented here before.
Comment by Brian Saner Lamken 02.14.12 @ 11:23 pm