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Wednesday February 22nd 2012, 1:18 amAwfully ambivalent about work stuff lately, have been for a couple weeks now. Things I can’t really talk about properly. It really seems to have set in today. Fortunately I’m relatively regimented. Being creatively strong only comes in spurts I guess. Not sure why, but I’m finding it hard to be motivated, maybe its a weird idea gap happening in my brain, a chasm I can’t seem to find the bridge to cross it right now. I’m just shouting into this great canyon of malaise and only muffled echoes of myself sounding back at me. And I can’t really see the other side either, just all fogged in. It didn’t help my emotional state that Tabby’s ashes arrived today. Brings up the pain we’ve had for the past week, not that it was under the surface very deeply as it is. Seeing the little tiny box that contains what is left of her physical body was tough. But in some way, we feel like she’s home, there is something awkwardly reassuring about that. Peculiarly, even though I’m feeling so lackluster, my imagination still has pops and sparks, sputtering an idea or two for new story concepts. I also managed to work on a page layout a little before having to leave the house. I had made plans to go to the movies with a group of friends today. Although I wasn’t feeling up to it at first, for good reason. It was important to get out of the house a little. We all had coffee beforehand. It was good to see everyone. Conversation eased my mind a bit. We went to watch Ghost Rider, it was everything I thought it should be. I know some will hate this movie, but I loved that it relished in total cheezeball-land. Reminds me of oddball horror movies like Evil Dead or Army Of Darkness, movies along that line, just less blood and guts. Hammed-Up-Horror with some nice action bits. I’m a sucker for that sort of thing if done well. Certainly wasn’t anything original, but didn’t need to for it to be a fun ride. I came out of it feeling entertained, most of the group seemed to feel the same way. The day started out in a darker place, but not as much now.
Attempting To Defeat Blah
February 21st 2012
4 Comments so far
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Hey there Blam
I hope your cat gets better soon. Hopefully he’s just a little under the weather and not in need of medical treatment. When Tabby was sick, before she passed, we really couldn’t concentrate on anything, I didn’t work at all that week. Mainly because focus would’ve been impossible with all the worry and lack of sleep we had. She required serious amounts of nursing at that time. Anyway, my best to you and your cat, and I’m glad the Neato post was enjoyable.
Thanks, J. He was sick a couple of months ago, got better, and now appears to have something else going on. I’d noticed that he hadn’t been himself for a day or so, so I took him to the doc yesterday morning; he was jaundiced and dehydrated — this is a cat who loves water — so we got some fluids and antibiotics in him. He’s still not eating and being awfully lethargic, but he’s drinking when the water is brought to him or vice-versa. Like you say, I’m really driven to distraction; I think I went through all the stages of grief the other night alone waiting to call the vet in the morning, frustrated at having been sick enough myself the day before that I didn’t really seeing the change in him other than him sleeping in a weird spot. He was back in bed with me last night but I didn’t sleep well between the gusting wind and constant desire to reach out and feel for him.
Comment by Blam 02.25.12 @ 4:22 pmHey there Blam
I feel for you right now, and relate to what you’re saying very much. I hope he gets better soon. I’m sending good vibes to you both.
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I’m glad that you got a bit of an escape. One of my cats has taken ill, and every time I try to distract myself with some entertainment instead of bringing over the water bowl one more time to see if he’ll drink it feels like a betrayal of my love for (and “parental” duty to) him. I did get a smile out of the first-person Neato the Vacuum Robot post, however. 8^)
Comment by Blam 02.24.12 @ 11:34 pm